Exit Light. Enter Night....
Below are 10 entries, after skipping 10 most recent ones in the "hearne" journal:
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Because my brain needs some fluff and fun.. and sometimes, it's good to live life not all wrapped up in fear, worthless feelings and other crap.. Let me introduce a gentleman with whom I have recently made acquaintance. In pieces of this space, I expect some of his life and story to come out, mostly for the entertainment value for me.. and hopefully there are some of you who may also enjoy his ... decisions..
*******( IntroductionsCollapse )
Language is a powerful tool, and words are both vague descriptors of concepts *and* hard definers of the way we live our lives. The word "friend" has many different meanings, and I would argue that it is different to many people. There is a social contract implied to a "friend," and it's that social contract that Faceyspacey, either by intent or design, plays upon within its structure. A friend is someone you are bonded with, someone you can't ignore or avoid, someone to whom you "owe" something, whether it's emotional support, caring or a Farmville sheep. By using the word "Friend" and verbifying it, it creates an expectation that forming that social contract is something that you can "do."
It is my contention that is a false premise. "Making a friend" is not something that, in most instances, you can set out to do. Friends, to my mind, are collections of people with whom you have some kind of bond. You can't "make a friend"..what happens is that you "grow a friendship." I know people who use nonsense words to define how they feel for each other. In a way that's brilliant, in that it breaks the social expectation that is implied with a known word. Love. Friend. Care. Whatever. Using a nonsense word forces the hearer to recognize that it's NOT what one expects, and is unique to the specific interaction of those two people. Yet, to the left, it's also both selfish and misleading. It's just as frought with potential hurt for the very same reason: the words are purely undefined and therefore the meaning conveys "something" and it's left to the hearer to interpret. What is left is for the individuals involved to define their relationships by other means. Interactions. Behaviors. Discussions. Lack thereof. By doing so, the speaker lays the responsibilty for that interpretation squarely on the shoulders of the hearer. In essence, it is meant to absolve the speaker of any responsibilty of hurt or pain due to misinterpretation. In essence, it breaks the contract of mutuality at the start.
I am a man who hates labels. I hate trying to define things, especially social concepts. Love. Chivalry. Courtesy. Friend. Hate. Family. All these terms are, on the surface, fairly simple and straightforward. Again.. words that evoke a sense of being.. but if you take a moment to actually LOOK at them and apply some brainpower, we find that the terms are very much more complex. It's like seeing an image of the earth from space. Pull far enough away, and it looks like a simple, lovely blue ball hanging in the blackness of space. Start zooming in and you find the edges are fuzzy.. contained but uncertain. The closer you look, the more cacophony and variables you see.
When speaking, in any context and in any environment, there is a purpose that the speaker has; that is, to convey a thought for whatever purpose the speaker has in mind. Sometimes it is meant to pursuade an opinion, sometimes to share a realization, to reassure, or sometimes to confuse, to hurt or mislead. Sometimes speech is meant to be self-aggrandizing, and because the speaker likes to hear themselves in their ears. (it could be argued I am one such.) But, negative purposes aside, communication's primary function is to allow at least 2 people to share a conceptualization and understand that conceptualization in a similar way, even if the two people don't agree with the viewpoints. Frame of reference. Language is an important tool for that, and it is incumbent upon both individuals in that exchange to be sure that their counterpart understands the language being used.
As a writer, speaker, or whatever, using terms that have convenient definitions is a good shorthand to getting your point through. But, it's important to intend the meaning that those words convey to the majority of the population when using them. Using the word friend, and meaning something different than a generally accepted definition is misdirection and deception. Faceyspacey, Livejournal, Twittyworld.. they all are having the effect of deluting the accepted meaning of that word, friend. Social pressure, social contracts.. they're all leaning on the average faceyspacey user to accept "friend" invites. To decline leaves the other party feeling rejected, and it is the fear of causing that rejection that gives users of Faceyspacey the drive to accept those invites, and thus the network uses that social impetus to grow. In the meantime, it also is undermining that very social contract, as more and more there is a subtle internal resistance to what "friend" means. Thus it's illustrated that the very use of the word not only conveys a meaning, but also defines and drives behavior.
This is what I like about Google+. A *circle* is just that. And no one knows what word you've used to define "circle." Friend? Acquaintance? Annoying babbling stand-up philosopher? The sense of inclusion is there.. and it's safe to include, or not, without that rejection threat. We move through life with various levels, or circles, of acquaintances. Some are deep and meaningful (friends, lovers, nemesi, etc) and others are less so (LaQuisha in Accounting or Dean at the local Grocery store.) But all of them touch our orbit of life in some way, and so the term "circle" is both defining and less restricting than the verbage used by other social media processes.
Like I said, language is a powerful tool. It's both overt and subtle. I can choose to use simple and familiar terms to influence, to disguise my intent, or pretty much anything I want to. I know what *meanings* are and I put thought into them. Many do not. "Thuh Peepul" are a very dangerous mob, and the instant social media allows for wordcrafters to evoke and direct the power of massed emotions.. but, I'm starting to digress.
At any rate. Faceyspacey has its purpose. I like being in touch with those with whom I have some kind of perceived bond. But I find that Google+ fits my ideals a bit better. If for no other reason than the fact that, for me anyway, I don't like to see as important a concept as "friend" diluted into nothingness.
This has been a quiet weekend, and it's been a welcome respite from the swirling maelstrom of stuff that has been my life of late.
Work, as it is wont to do, managed to get in the way of my plans for going to Blackstone. So, I had a talk with my youngling and we stayed home while Huntress headed out to beat on badguys. I knew I'd miss out on some fun and entertaining things, and I did. It's been some years since I've been able to go drinkin' with the Harlequin. Hmm.. if memory serves.. the last time we did, he woke up under a trailer. But, in the end, the decision had to be made and I didn't want to run the risk of not quite getting the tasks done before Monday a.m. I didn't want to chance it and so stayed home, packing off Huntress to have fun. I hoped the forecast rain would dampen any "fires that could be seen from space".. and she had her own Bail money. As WV is only arguably a state, I figured we could suspend that rule. :)
Friday night had a bit of storm, but we all survived. On the bright side, I did manage to take a step back and take a hard look at expectations and understandings. It's all good. At least, it is for me. My load of "people and things to worry about" is lighter and that works quite well.
Saturday, I had hoped that Munchkin and I would go play a bit with our toys, but turns out she's having some challenges with strategy. It took me most of the day to get it out of her, but she finally admitted that she feels she is terrible at strategy and wanted to figure out how to do better. Ok. We can deal with that. The fact that her father and his friends have been playing this game longer than she's been alive kinda gives us an advantage. She's only had 3 games under her belt and she did pretty well with that. We can work with this. So, we'll plan to go play a bit more next week. So, instead of playing with toy soldiers we did other stuff and had a wonderful daddy/daughter day together.
Even so, I got about an hour of pell-time in. It's been a while since I've been throwing blows with intent. Serious intent. I felt it. I mentioned on the faceyspacey that the one thing I miss from the pell is that soft sound of schpluth that the sword makes when contacting a moving target. Oh well. Then I picked up the steel and did some target practice.
...here is where I digress into some fighting foo. I didn't realize it until I typed up the above but it's detailed in the "throwing with intent" thing. I think that's something that's missing from my Rapier. Ok, I know I have a TON of things missing from my rapier combat, precision, comprehension, mechanics... but one of those level-3 things is definitely disconnected and I'm thinking it's disconnected on purpose. I'm not attacking with intent. My thrusts are falling about 2" short.. and it's not because I'm depth-perception challenge. There is intentional dilution of intent there. I don't actually *want* to skewer the other guy. Ok, makes sense. But I DO want to put him down. Maybe the knowledge that my targetting and precision are off is what's holding me back from throwing intent. I dunno. At any rate, it's something to contemplate.
Anyone w suggestions is welcome to chirp in..
Today, the eggs are colored. Obligations to the Risen have been made. Christian or not, it's a high holiday and there is the mystical all about it. The working of the Divine, the faith in eternity and the righteousness of forgiveness. Funny how I needed that lesson; today especially. Tell me the Divine has no sense of humor! Munchkin is smiling, I can feel the sun behind the clouds, and my blade is talking to me from the corner of the room. It is a good day. I will take care of the tasks on my plate and put some time in on a gift for a friend.
Like all good days, it is good.
this CNN link is interesting..
"there has to be a level of trust, and respect.. from everyone involved.."
Probably the most important line in the entire report. This holds true not just for the particular, that is, training children that their behavior also governs the behavior of others, in both the what gets emulated and how they are treated by others; but also in a general way. In order for change, or "vision" to function for a society or a group, that group not only needs a leader with the vision, but also a trust and faith of the group that the vision is right for that group.
You can't "dictate" patriotism. Or group Loyalty. It has to be earned. Respect for everyone is one, very necessary, building block.
Privacy vs. Anonymity|
It's pretty much a given that most Americans believe we have an individual right to privacy. Privacy from the government, our gosspy neighborhood fence-leaners or whomever else for that matter. That pretty much goes without saying. We consider nebbiness rude at the very least, (if you're not from daBurgh, nebby=nosy) and criminal when carried to a not - far extreme. We are very protective of our privacy.
On the interwubz.. that seems, to me, to equate to an expectation to an individual right to "anonymity."
Which brings me to wondering about the difference between "anonymous" and "Private". You're not allowed, in many contexts these days, to wear a mask or other identity concealing garb when entering some business establishments; specifically those with an elevated expectation of crime. So. In public, it would seem that we do not have a right to anonymity.
Added to this, there is the "ideal" of privacy and anonymity and the practical implementation of it.
So, are they the same? And do we, as users of da Interwubz, actually have a right to that expectation?
like all good days.. it was good. |
We joined our lives earlier than that, but 12 years ago, my Huntress did not say "obey" but said yes to everything else. I love this day when it reminds me of that moment.. and all those moments before and since..
Love you Huntress!! Always have.. always will.
***Edit*** It's bad when your daughter is better at math than you are. It was 13 years ago for the wedding. Yes .. I can count. Really.
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